He see's you

Recently, I was approached with a text conversation that really hit me. It made me question my actions, my everyday thoughts and feelings. It really made me question if I was living by what I preach. I found myself questioning, was I really living and walking by faith, or was I walking the path that I wanted in hopes that God would protect me on the journey I decided to take.

I had a conversation with a great friend of mine that really helped me clear things up. You see, I consider myself a woman of God, a prayer warrior, a woman strong in faith. But yesterday I received a message that I don’t think I could ever forget. Every morning, on my way to work I will blast my music and sing my heart out for a bit. Shortly after, I turn off my music and begin my prayers, my conversation with God and my boys.  My prayers begin with giving thanks to God for all my blessing as well as asking God for many things in life, praying for my family and friends, angel parents, the homeless and all those who are suffering. I pray for many personal things asking him to guide me through my tough times, pick me up when I’m feeling down,  asking for miracles, patience, strength, and so much more. Not once did I ever stop and think that I have never prayed for his will. Never did I think that I needed to pray for what he wants me to do in this crazy life of mine. I was being selfish and focusing on my prayers and everything I wanted him to help me with, everything I needed him to fulfill in that moment. I was still planning my own life, living on my time and expecting him to create miracles.  I would focus on asking him to open up a door that I wanted, I focused on asking him to give me something that I desired.

Today my drive to work was so different, my conversation and prayers  completely changed and in a positive way. I wasn’t being that selfish woman asking and asking for more. I focused on his will, I focused on asking him to open up doors that he wanted me to enter and fulfill. I’ve received a couple messages within a week, one today to be specific. I believe that they were sent to me for a reason, for my personal growth, spiritual growth and to share with all of you.  I had a couple of woman speaking life into me and I found myself doing the same to other woman. I knew that all these little messages called for a blog. I can’t help to think how amazing our world would be if woman spoke life into each other rather than competing against each other, destroying each other with our catty attitudes, dirty looks and backstabbing. To all my beautiful ladies remember that we are all living a struggle and little do we know what each of us are fighting and facing daily.  Remember that God clothes us with strength and dignity, be the one that smiles rather than the one who doesn't, share your kindness and happiness that you were blessed with. I truly believe that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, I believe that God wants me to share my story. I believe that I was put through these trails because it’s a page in my book, this is where my heart belongs. I love sharing my story, I love knowing that I can give hope to others who are living through the struggles I’ve learned to live with,  with the help of our man up above. I will continue to walk through that open door that the lord opened for me, I will continue to write away and share with you everything that yearns in my heart.

To all my angel mommies, he sees you, he hears you! And I want you know that, I feel you! I know the struggles, I know the pain. I know the anger you feel and I know how many times you’ve wanted to fast forward through the pain. I know the anxiety you feel when you need answers, when you want that rainbow baby and he or she can’t seem to come quick enough. Silent prayers get answered, Ignore the doctors diagnosis when they say that you cannot have children. Overcome the odds, to our God, nothing is impossible. Believe and pray, don’t give up.

All my step mommies, don’t believe when they tell you “you knew what you were getting yourself into”, because no one knows what they are getting into.  They may have an idea but no one ever knows. Believe that you are in your situation for a positive reason, believe that God opened up that door for you take that path and own it. Believe that when you are on your knees praying, crying in the shower and simply asking WHY, he hears you. He sees you. You are not alone, I FEEL YOU. I know the pain, it’s not easy.  Remember it takes a special kind of woman to own the role of being a step mommy, and you were the chosen one.  Wicked ( as society puts us) or not, wear your title proudly.  When you feel like giving up, when everything says you can’t, faith will tell you that you can.

To all those struggling with a broken heart, I promise he keeps tracks of all your tears, and every day he is picking up the pieces of your broken heart, mending them back together, “Broken hearts become brand new”  To all those going through a difficult time, know that some days will be better than others, know that you are strong and that you will get through this. Know that he sees you and he hears you. “Even if you fall sometimes, you will have the strength to rise”

“We may throw the dice, but God determines how they fall.” Proverbs 16:33

God created family and friends so you wouldn’t have to walk this journey alone. Don’t be afraid to share your journey, don’t be afraid to vent. Skyler, thank you for your words, thank you for empowering me and thank you for motivating me to live in the present, and praying my life away. 

 “Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing, you will find your way if you keep believing”

Always, Yours Truly...

 


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